Pride and Passion
by MartinaK
Summary: Updated!!!! Please R&R because I live for feedback!!
1. After Melanie

Pride and Passion  
  
  
  
Part One...After Melanie  
  
  
  
The big house was cold and dark when Scarlett lifted her head from  
  
her hands. The tears had long since dried up and now her mind was  
  
spinning. Rhett. Where was Rhett? The reminder of the finality of  
  
his words came back to her and she pushed them away. She would think  
  
about that tomorrow. Now she had to get to Ashley. Melly had,after  
  
all asked her to take care of him. "It's convenient to have the first  
  
wifes permission." Rhetts words again sprang to the forefront  
  
of her thoughts as she smoothed her hair looking at her red rimmed  
  
eyes in the hall mirror.  
  
It was only a short walk back to Ashley and Melanies home. But,  
  
now  
  
it was just Ashley. Scarlett wondered how she would ever get by  
  
without Melly. "And I do need her dreadfully right now too, with  
  
Rhett gone," she said aloud as she approached the door.  
  
She found Ashley staring into the half lit fire. Mellys small white  
  
glove was still tightly clasped in his hands.  
  
"Ashley," she said quietly reaching out to touch his arm. When he  
  
turned to her and she saw the pain in his eyes her heart broke.  
  
"Oh Ashley.....What shall we do without her?"  
  
"She loved you Scarlett. She loved everyone but, you were the sister  
  
she never had." A small tear escaped his eyes. "I can't live  
  
without her!"  
  
"You need to be strong Ashley Wilkes! Remember Beau!"  
  
He nodded and straightened his back. Putting the glove on the back  
  
of a chair, he cleared his throut. "Beau will not see his father  
  
cry." He started towards the stairs.  
  
"You'll help with the arrangements?" he asked without turning around.  
  
"Of course, Ashley. Anything," Scarlett said softly as she watched  
  
him slowly mount the stairs.  
  
Not wanting to go back to the huge, empty house she called home,  
  
she retreated to the parlor. She shivered and realized the fire was  
  
now nearly out.  
  
"Prissy!! Where are you? Come stir this fire!....Where is that girl  
  
everytime I need her, she murmered as she tossed some wood into the  
  
fireplace. "It will be the strap when I get my hands on her."  
  
She sat in front of the fire as it crackled and spit but it  
  
failed to warm her. Where was Rhett? On his way to Belle? He  
  
would come back to her....he had to...he did love her afterall. She  
  
laid her head on the back of the chair and closed her eyes. "What  
  
would Melly do?" she thought. "Silly goose!! Melly would never have  
  
treated Rhett that way. Melly was so kind, and so good. Melly...."  
  
She must have drifted of for the next thing she knew, Mammy was  
  
gently shaking her shoulder.  
  
"Miz Scarlett...Miz Scarlett. You wake up now, y'hear. Let yo Mammy  
  
take you home lamb and I take care of you."  
  
Scarlett allowed her self to be led to the door, where Mammy  
  
wrapped a shawl around her thin shoulders. She didn't know what time  
  
it was...the sky was full of threatening clouds....angry and grey.  
  
Like Scarlett's heart. Angry at Rhett for leaving her and grey  
  
because Melly was gone.  
  
When they reached Scarlett's home, Mammy ordered Pork to draw a  
  
hot bath for Scarlett and sent her upstairs while Mammy got her  
  
something to eat. It seemed to take her forever to climb the huge  
  
staircase. The staircase Rhett had once carried her up. Would  
  
everything always remind her of him? She shook of those thoughts. I  
  
had only been one day. He could still come back. The funeral!!  
  
There was no way he would miss Melanies funeral. Scarlett smiled as  
  
Mammy walked into her bedroom with a tray of food.  
  
"That's a girl Miz Scarlett. What yo smilin' fo?" Mammy asked.  
  
"I was thinking of Melanie and how she helps me even in death,"  
  
Scarlett answered. "I need to get word to Suellen and Careen about  
  
Melly. I know they would want to be here after all she did for them  
  
during the war."  
  
"Yes Miz Scarlett. You jus leave it t' me. Come on know. You's git  
  
undressed and in that tub. Yo's shivering."  
  
Scarlett reached over and touched Mammy's hand. "Thankyou for  
  
always taking care of me Mammy."  
  
She only smiled and started to undo Scarlett's dress. She knew  
  
her good enough to know when Scarlett had a sceme in that pretty head  
  
of hers. And she also knew it probably had something to do with Mr.  
  
Rhett. She had seen him leave yesterday while Miz. Scarlett was at  
  
the Wilkes home. He'd had a suitcase. They was fightin' again,  
  
but things would be back to normal again when they both cooled off.  
  
Miz Scarlett was just so hot headed. Why couldn't she be more like Miz Ellen...God rest her soul.  
  
Now as Mammy pored the hot water over her head, Scarlett was still smiling. She had to get  
  
a new dress for Melly's funeral....black of course. Something so that when she wore it, Rhett would go mad with love and come home that very night. There was no way that Belle could give him what she did. Scarlett frowned at the thought of Belle. What kind of lady could do a thing like giving herself to a man for money. When she had married Frank Kennedy, it had been to save Tara....something that needed to be done. And of course she had always loved Rhett, she just hadn't known it. But Belle. What did Rhett see in her anyways? She certainly wasn't attractive in the least. Besides, the color of her hair was indecent. With a toss of her pretty head she forgot about Belle and started to eat the soup and fresh bread Mammy had left for her. With her mouth full, Scarlett said to Mammy, "I will be needing a new dress for the funeral. And a new hat too. Something with a nice big bow under the chin." She snuggled down into the warm blankets. She didn't mind if Rhett wasn't there. When he saw her in a few days, he'd be back. Warm thoughts of him taking her in his arms and saying that he was wrong to leave filled her mind until she fell asleep.  
  
It was then that the nightmares started. Yankees at Tara.....Bonnie falling from the pony.....Melanie dying....and images of Rhett and Belle laughing at her were filling her dreams. She tossed and turned all night and woke with sweat poring from her forhead. She cursed the darkness and retreated downstairs. The clock read 4am. These nightmares just had to stop she thought as she walked towards the decanter and poured herself a glass of brandy. She downed it and poured another. She walked back up to her room, drank the brandy and got back into bed. She did sleep a fitful couple of hours, when Mammy came and woke her up to say that she had company. "Is it Rhett??" she aked jumping out of bed and heading for the closet.  
  
"No Miz Scarlett. Is Dr. and Mizzes Meade," she said as she helped Scarlett into the dress she had picked from the closet. "They's be wantin' to talk 'bout Miz Melly's funeral wid you."  
  
Scarlett scowled as Mammy brushed back her hair into a tight roll at the back of her neck. Ashley had asked her to help with the arrangements and she wasn't going to let anyone, let alone the Meades, tell her what should be done. Melly was her best friend and she new what was best for her. She checked in the mirror and satisfied that she looked mournful enough, made her way down the stairs. Why do I care what they think anyway, she thought annoyed at herself for caring. Because I want people to know that I really loved Melly and they all think I used her as a way to get to Ashley. That might have been true at the beginning, but not at the end. Damn it!! Why did this happen to her? Melly would have been the one that Scarlett had gone to for advise about the funeral. And now she was on her own with Rhett who knows where and Ashley would be no good to anyone for a while to come. Life had always been unfair to her. She stopped before she entered the parlor and took a deep breath.  
  
"Dr. Meade, Mrs. Meade," she said softly, bringing her handkerchief up and lightly dabbing her nose.  
  
"Good morning Scarlett, said Dr. Meade while Mrs. Meade mearly nodded. "Sorry to bother you but under the circumstances we felt we must come and discuss some things with you."  
  
"I understand and I can assure you that everything will be taken care of. Ashley has asked me to make the arrangements and I will do so."  
  
She saw Mrs. Meades eyes flash, but just for a second. This caused Scarlett's head to raise just slightly. Mrs. Meade continued, "Of course. If there is anything we can do to help, you must let us know."  
  
"I will. And thank you," she added. The old cat. What was she going to do when Ashley had already requested Scarlett's help. She led them to the door and as it closed behind the Meades, Scarlett felt all her strength leave with them. It was so hard to keep a brave face and remain strong when all she really wanted to do was lock herself in her room. And to have another drink of brandy. But she musn't just yet for she needed to go and see Ashley.  
  
Aunt Pitty Pat Hamilton answered the door, her smelling salts gripped in her chubby hands. The damn lady is shaking more than usual, Scarlett mused as she watched the ridiculous curls dance all over her head.  
  
"Oh Scarlett," she wailed. "This is just terrible. How shall we all go on? Poor Ashley didn't sleep a wink last night. And everytime I move I fear I shall faint! "  
  
"Stop!" Scarlett demanded harshly, grabbing hold of the old lady's arm. "It will do nobody any good to see you acting so. Ashley and Beau need our strength right now." She turned to Prissy. " Go and brew some tea and serve it to Aunt Pitty in her bedroom. And then some tea and sandwiches to Mr. Ashley. And no dawdling!"  
  
She turned, pausing only for a second to catch her breath and walked up the stairs to Ashley's room. People would surely talk about her being alone with Ashley in such intimate quarters and so soon after the death of his wife. Rhett was sure to hear, the way gossip traveled through this town. But, at this moment she didn't care. A promise was a promise and nothing the old pea hens could say would make her break her last promise to Melly. She hadn't always been kind to Melanie and she was going to make up for that now if she had to fight with her last breath.  
  
The door to Ashley's room was open just enough for Scarlett to look in. Ashley sat in a chair with his head in his hands. Although it pained her to disturb his grieving, she knocked at the door. Ashley turned his face towards her and she was shocked to see how much he had changed in such a short time. He had aged ten years in the last day....his unshaven face was grey, his eyes bloodshot.  
  
"Hello Scarlett," he said wanly, trying to smile.  
  
"Ashley," she said moving to him. She laid a hand on his and squeezed it. "Prissy has brought some tea and sandwiches. Please try to have some." She motioned to the snoopy slave to shoo and handed Ashley a cup of the hot tea. He accepted it, but only took a few sips before setting it on the bedside table. It was strange, Scarlett thought as she looked at him, how much her feelings for him had changed over night. The man she had spent so much of her life persuing and loving was now nothing more than a friend to her. Oh how much time she had wasted. She felt suddenly sick as she thought of Rhett and how she could have spent all this time loving him. She stood quickly and felt suddenly dizzy. "OH" she gasped as her knees gave out under her. Ashley jumped up to grab her and put his arms around her waist to bring her back up to the standing position.  
  
"Scarlett! Are you OK?" Ashley asked, a worried look on his face.  
  
"Yes. I'm fine. I just got lightheaded for a moment. Maybe I should try to eat something." She smiled up at him. He looked so sad that she couldn't resist putting a hand on his cheek. It was at that moment that the door to the bedroom opened and India Wilkes walked in.  
  
She looked horrified as she stared at her brother with his hands on Scarlett's waist, and she with her hand on his cheek. But, the suprise soon turned to anger and as she walked towards them, she began to speak, hatred dripping from her voice.  
  
"I should have known," she seethed. " I should have known that you would be after my brother before Melanie was even in the ground. Why....why you are no better than that Watling woman!"  
  
"India! Please don't speak that way! You have misinterpreted what you see here," Ashley implored his sister. "Scarlett became dizzy and I was only helping her to her feet."  
  
"Oh please, Ashley. I have misinterpreted nothing. Everyone knows what she is and now I am going to say it!" She stood, facing the woman she had hated long before she had stolen Charles Hamilton from her. "You are no better than white trash, Scarlett. You've made a living of stealing men who don't belong to you just to benefit yourself and your own selfish intentions. Well, my brother will not be your next victim. Why, no wonder your own husband has left town!"  
  
Rhett had left town? Not waiting to hear anything else India had to say or even to defend herself, Scarlett ran from the room and out of the house. She stood on the street for a moment not knowing which way to go. Suddenly it came to her and before she could stop herself, she was walking towards Belle Watlings. If anyone knew where Rhett was, it would be, much to Scarlett's chagrin, Belle. 


	2. Conclusion of part one

Pride and Passion  
  
Part Two:  
  
By the time she reached the part of town where Belle resided, Scarlett was out of breath. She watched for a moment from across the street as a man came out and seconds later another one entered. It made her sick to think that her husband frequented this type of establishment. Putting her hand up to halt a buggy, Scarlett crossed the street. When she reached Belle's door she raised her fist to knock, but quickly dropped it back to her side. What in God's name was she doing asking Rhett's mistress where *her* husband was? She knew he would be angry at her for coming here but she didn't care. How dare he make a fool out of her and out of their marriage. She was Scarlett O'Hara and she had fought for what she wanted in the past and she would again now and everytime here on in.  
  
She rapped at the door and with her head high she waited for Belle to answer. But the person who came to the door was not Belle but a young girl, barely twenty years old. She was a pretty girl with long blond hair and blue eyes that told a story of an unhappy life. And the dress....it showed more bosem than even Scarlett thought was appropriate.  
  
"Can I help you?" the girl asked in a small voice.  
  
"Yes you may. I'm here to see Miss Watling. Would you please go and get her for me."  
  
"Oh I'm sorry," the girl said shaking her head. "I can't do that. Belle doesn't want to be disturbed. If you want to come back........"  
  
"Amy." Belle's voice came from somewhere behind the half closed door. "I'll see her. Go back to what you were doing."  
  
"Yes mam," she said before giving Scarlett a small smile. As she walked away, Scarlett wondered if Rhett had ever been with this girl or any others for that matter....or was it only Belle that he fancied.  
  
And now as she stood face to face with her nemesis her hands turned to fists at her side and her breathing became heavy. Oh how she wanted to hit this red headed piece of trash standing before her in flounces of pink and bells hanging from her ears. She opened her mouth to speak but was stopped as Belle spoke to her instead.  
  
"I knew you'd come sooner or later. Why, I've seen Rhett angry before, but there was something about this time that really made me believe that he was through with you."  
  
"How dare you tell me anything about my husband!"  
  
"He might be your husband, but I am the one he comes to when he needs something," Belle said with a slight smirk. Oh but she knew that Rhett loved this woman and it pained her. She had a hold on him stronger than anything she had seen before.  
  
"Just tell me where he is so I can get away from this place."  
  
Belle laughed. "Scared it might tarnish your pristine reputation, are you? Well from what I hear you don't have much of a reputation around these parts."  
  
Scarlett scowled. "Please don't speak to me of reputations."  
  
"From where I'm standing all I can see is verbal bravado, but inside you are nothing but a coward. But for some reason that I don't know he loves you. And don't think it doesn't pain me to say it."  
  
Belle looked Scarlett over, taking in her appearance. The black mourning dress reminded her of the news of Melanie Wilkes death that was buzzing all over town. And so because of Melanie and partly because of Rhett's love for this woman she spoke again.  
  
"He is in Charleston, " she said simply. "The only reason I am telling you this is out of respect for Mrs. Wilkes and for the fact that she liked you so much. Just another thing she has done for you...even in death. Now please excuse me. I have a business to run." And with those words she promptly closed the door in Scarlett's face.  
  
When Scarlett reached her home she closed the door and leaned against it, her chest heaving. Charleston. He had only gone as far as his mother's home. She was relieved to know this news but wished she hadn't had to go to Belle to find out. Then she cursed herself. If she had just been patient she would have found it out on her own soon enough. Damn her and her Irish hot-headedness! Why didn't she think before she acted? But what was done was done and it wasn't going to do her any good to dwell on it. Tomorrow was the funeral and she needed to get some rest.  
  
Scarlett woke the next day to the sound of rain falling on the ground outside. Perfect weather for how she felt inside. How she was going to get through this day alone she didn't know. She pulled the warm, down blankets just a little higher up and nestled in. Maybe if she just kept sleeping. No one would miss her after all. Most people would think she'd be the last person to pay her last respects to Melanie. And so she closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep. But seconds there was a knock at the door and Mammy came in sniffling....tears in her eyes.  
  
"It's a sad day, Miz Scarlett. You best be gettin' yoself outta bed and be gettin' ready for Miz Melly's funeral." She sniffed again. "Some things just don't sounds right, do they Miz Scarlett?"  
  
"No Mammy you're right," she said sitting up in the bed. "I'm so glad you're here with me. I don't know what I would do without you." Scarlett knew she was never really, truely alone as long as she had her Mammy. "And I am so greatful that you will be beside me today."  
  
"Mistah Rhett ain't gonna be there?" Mammy had seen his leave the day before, but just thought he'd have been back by now.  
  
Scarlett cleared her throut. "No Mammy. Rhett had to go to Charleston"  
  
"Oh no Miz Scarlett. Der is no way he would miss poor Miz Melly's funeral."  
  
"Well he is going to miss it!" she snapped. "And you know that he is going to do what he wants to and to hell with what anyone else thinks!" She stopped and realized it wasn't Mammys fault that Rhett had left her and apologized. "I'm sorry, Mammy. I just have to much running around in my head right now."  
  
"Thas OK, Miz Scarlett. I know yous had lots to do des last few days. Don't worry. It will all be over soon."  
  
"You're right," she assured her. "Rhett will be home soon and things will get back to the way they should be." At least she hoped so. Oh how she hoped! As she looked herself over in the mirror in her new black dress and hat, she didn't even care anymore. Who cares! she thought. If Rhett wasn't there, all the new hats in the world weren't worth a thing. Damn him! Why did he always run away? Why did he keep running in and out of their marriage whenever things didn't go his way? Well maybe she wouldn't make it so easy for him to come back this time. Maybe she just wouldn't be here when he came back.  
  
There was still a drizzle of rain at Melanies grave site later that day. Many of the mourners had umbrellas, but none of them offered Scarlett any shelter and so she stood alone in her grief, the rain falling down on her. Her face was wet but she didn't care....at least if a tear happened to escape from her eyes no one would notice. India Wilkes glared at her as she stood apart from her family. She blames me for being banished from sitting with the family, Scarlett thought. Serves her right. All I was doing was trying to help Ashley and she did nothing but give me grief. All India had ever tried to do was give Scarlett grief. Ever since Frank it had been worse than when they were children. And when Frank had been killed because of Scarlett, India had been more hateful than before.  
  
Scarletts thoughts were broken by the sound of a large wail. Poor Beau had suddenly realised that his mother was in that box and had run over and tried to get her out.  
  
"But daddy!!" he cried. "She can't breath! She can't breath! Help her please daddy!"  
  
Ashley took his small son tightly in his arms and held him close, talking soothingly in his ears, so quietly that Scarlett could hardly hear what he was saying from where she stood. "I can't son. Your mother is going up to Heaven. She is going to be an angel now. She has important work to do."  
  
This did little to soothe Beau so Ashley slowly led him to the waiting carriage, the rest of the family walking behind them. Scarlett still stood by Melly's grave until she was left alone. She stared down into the hole where the box that held the kindest person she had ever known....besides her own mother. This hole that would now be her final resting place. She shuddered. How she hated this place. The last time she had been here had been for her darling Bonnie's funeral. She had placed a small bouquet of flowers there that morning. A small sob escaped her mouth. She covered her quivvering lips with her shaking hands but it did little to stop the torrent of tears that followed. She fell to her knee's in the dirt surrounding the grave site that had turned to mud from the rain. "Oh Melly, " she cried. "Take care of my little girl. Tell her how much I really loved her. And you. I did love you too. I wish I would have told you when you were here. But, you knew, didn't you?" She looked up in the angry sky. "You knew what was in my heart even when I didn't. Oh Melly. He has left me. I'm all alone now."  
  
When the tears had all dried she stood. Her dress was covered in mud where she had knelt. She silently scolded herself for being so weak. What if someone had seen her act that way? She looked around, but didn't see anyone close by. She could just imagine people talking about the high and mighty Scarlett Butler breaking down at Melanie Wilkes funeral. They would think it was all a show. They would never know Scarlett and she didn't care.  
  
When she reached the big house she stood looking at it. What was she going to do here all alone? No one to talk to and no one to share it with. When had she lost all hope of Rhett coming back? It wasn't like her to to give up so easily. Maybe she wasn't giving up, she thought. Maybe she would let him think she didn't care....let him come to her. She wasn't going to sit around here and wait for days, weeks and maybe months. She wouldn't be here when he came back to her. But where would she go? The only place to go....Tara. 


	3. Back to Tara

Scarlett had been so happy to see Suellen's husband Will waiting for her at the train depot in Jonesboro. It was great to see homefolk again. She was even excited to see Suellen and was doubly pleased to learn that her youngest sister Careen was visiting their home. She chattered on to Will who politely answered her questions. He was a quiet man who was content to just listen to Scarlett talk. Although not the most handsome or smart man, Will had other qualities that endeared him to Scarlett and she considered him a friend. And he was good to Suellen and did do so much at Tara. He was doing his best despite his handicap.  
  
"How are your girls?" Scarlett asked, not really caring but thinking it proper. It would be hard for her to see Suellen's three daughters. The oldest, Susie, was so close to Bonnie's age it nearly killed her to think of seeing her.  
  
"They are growin' like weeds in a cotton field. They are lookin' forward to seeing their Auntie Scarlett. And you knew Suellen was expectin'?"  
  
"Yes I had heard that! Where are my manners? Congratulations!"  
  
"Thankyou Scarlett. Suellen will be happy knowin' that you are happy for us. She was worried about you seein' the girls after what happened to your Bonnie."  
  
"Come now Will. You know as well as I do that Sue has never worried about me a day in her life."  
  
"It's true. Having the children has softened her. She'd like you two to get along this visit."  
  
"Well I will try, considering her condition. Oh Tara is just around the corner! I can't wait to get home!"  
  
As Will steered the horse and buggy around the last corner Tara came into sight. She gasped. "Oh Will! What happened?" The Tara she knew and loved was no more the beautiful plantation it once was. It was in desperate need of painting, some of the shutters were hanging from their hinges. One of the windows on the top floor was even broken and covered from the inside with what looked like an old sheet. The once green lush vines were now gnarled and twisted, brown and dry.  
  
"I tried to tell ya Scarlett before we got here, but I couldn't find the words."  
  
"How did this happen?"  
  
"There just wasn't enough time and not enough money coming in." Scarlett started to speak but Will held up a hand and stopped her. "I know what yer gonna say. I will not take money from you. Not now and not ever. It's generous that yer offerin' but the answer is still no."  
  
"But Will. Tara is still one third mine. I want to help you fix it up. Can't we come to some sort of agreement? I will pay for the supplies and you will do the work. Please Will! I need Tara the way I remember it!"  
  
Will saw the look in her eyes and nodded. "We will talk about later. First you just get settled. And please, Scarlett, don't upset Suellen. The doctor says she doesn't need any unnessesary stress. There she is!" His smile widened and he waved at his wife.  
  
"Ok Will, but only if you promice to think long and hard about my proposition."  
  
"Deal," he said, holding out his hand.  
  
"Deal," she returned, grasping his hand and shaking it.  
  
The buggy came to a stop and Will hopped out and gave Scarlett help getting out. Suellen stood with three little girls by her side. She looked tired but more so she looked at Scarlett as if defying her to say a word about Tara's present condition.  
  
"Hello Sue," she said, quickly hugging her sister. "You look well," she lied, getting in her one jab. She moved on to her nieces. "Hello girls," she said brightly. "Give Auntie Scarlett a hug. I have some wonderful gifts for you all."  
  
"You didn't need to do that," Suellen said. "They have enough things."  
  
"Oh I'm sure they do. But I just couldn't resist," she said smiling down at the girls. "Now run inside and wait for Auntie Scarlett in her room."  
  
The three ran off and as they went in the door, Careen came out.  
  
"Oh Scarlett! You are finally here!" Careen's voice was soft and sweet and so like their Mothers. "I'm so glad you've come."She hugged her oldest sister. "I was so sorry to hear about Melly. What a tragedy."  
  
"Yes it was quite awful. It's too bad you both couldn't have made it to Atlanta for the funeral."  
  
Suellen sniffed at this. "Well nobody told us until it was too late. By the time word got to us, it was much too late to go to Atlanta. But, I am not surprised that you wouldn't think about us. You are always too busy thinking about yourself."  
  
"Suellen!" Will jumped in before it got out of hand. "Why don't we all go inside and have something to eat. Scarlett must be hungry after the long trip."  
  
"Why yes, I am just famished," she said giving Suellen a look somewhere between a glare and a fake smile. "I will just go and freshen up and give the girls their gifts." And with that she sauntered off, allowing Suellen to simmer in her own hate.  
  
The girls were ecstatic with the dolls Scarlett brought them. And Scarlett had to sadly admit to herself again how much she missed her own darling Bonnie. A small tear escaped her eye as she watched them hugging their dolls close, much like Bonnie would have done. This emotion didn't go unnoticed as Susie, came and wiped the tear away with her tiny hand. She gave Scarlett a small smile and went back to playing with Martha and Jane. It touched Scarlett's heart that this child had so much insight. And so much kindness, so unlike her mother, Suellen. Poor Bonnie. She should be here right now playing with her cousins. Her thoughts were interupted by the children's nanny, Lutie.  
  
"Miz Scarlett. Miz Suellen sent me to tell ya dinnah is bein' served in the dining room. Come now chilluns. Yo come and have yo dinner in the nursery."  
  
"Thankyou Lutie," she said as the children were herded towards the nursery.  
  
Dinner was as pleasent as it could be sitting at the same table as Suellen. But, Careen kept the converstion going which was a relief to Scarlett. She was getting tired and anxious to be along for awhile. And so after the meal was done, she excused her self and changed into some suitable walking clothes. As an afterthought, on the way out the door, she took her bonnet off and pulled the pins from her hair, letting the lush, black silk fall down her back. She walked up the hill where her Pa had once talked to her about Tara and loving the land. And as she looked down upon her only true home sillouetted in the setting sun she vowed to bring it back to it's former glory, the way it was before the war had touched it. A wind blew against her and she lifted her face to meet it. Suddenly she felt so free and happy.....it was like a rebirth. She was still the same Scarlett without Rhett. And she would move forward in her life even though she would ever be waiting for the love of her life to come back to her. 


	4. Conclusion of Part Two

Scarlett slept better that night then she had in months. And without having a drink of brandy. She rang for Pansy to help her dress wishing that she didn't have to continue wearing black. She was in too good of a mood for black. Would anyone out here really care? she thought. She reached for a red silk sash and tied it around her tiny waist. There, she thought happily, looking in the mirror. It was better then nothing. She laughed suddenly as she remembered the green hat Rhett had brought her from Paris. She had been mourning Charles' death and had been so bold as to wear the pretty bonnet out in public. Oh how people had talked! And Rhett had loved her spirit. She would get that spirit back too. It was a promise she had made to herself and one that she would keep.  
  
Her thoughts were broken by the sound of Pansy's voice. "Miz Scarlett? Are yo alright? Yo's lookin' of into space."  
  
"Yes Pansy. I am just fine. Better then I've been in a long time."  
  
"Thas a good ti hear, Miz Scarlett. Are yo gonna join the family fo breakfast?"  
  
"I think I will. I slept so well and I am just famished this morning. Go on down and tell them I will be there in a moment."  
  
"Yes'm," Pansy said with a curtsy. She closed the door behind her and seconds later there was a knock.  
  
"What is it, Pansy?" Scarlett called.  
  
The door opened slowly and Scarlett saw the tiny head of Susie peek in. "Auntie Sarlett?"  
  
Scarlett caught her breath. With that dark curly hair she suddenly looked more like Bonnie then like her. "Yes Susie. Come in," she said, trying to keep her voice even. "Did you need something?"  
  
"No Auntie Scarlett. I just wanted to ask you a question." She suddenly looked nervous, looking up at this grand lady who always looked so beautiful.  
  
"What is it, Susie. Don't be shy," Scarlett smiled.  
  
"Well I wanted to ask if I could sit by you at breakfast. Martha was going to ask, but Lutie made her go wash her face again. So, I got here first." She was silent for a brief moment. "Will you let me sit by you Auntie Scarlett?"  
  
Scarlett looked down at her niece and smiled. She could remember her and Suellen doing the same kinds of things. And Martha was very much like Suellen and Scarlett could see Susie was more like her than her mother. That ought to really make Su angry. "Of course Susie. I would love to sit by you at breakfast." The little girl smiled her thanks and started to make her way out of the room.  
  
"Susie wait!" Scarlett said. "I have something for you." She went to her closet and pulled out another sash just like the one she was wearing and tied it around Susies waist. "There," she said, happily. "Now we can match." She held out her hand and Susie took it. What a pair they made walking into the dining room together...looking so much alike. And Scarlett was even more pleased when she saw the look of anger on her sisters face.  
  
"Good morning, everyone," she said brightly. "My, this all looks so wonderful and Susie and I are just starving, aren't we?"  
  
Susie smiled up her aunt and said, "Yes, just starving."  
  
"Susie!" Suellen said, "I hope you weren't bothering Aunt Scarlett this morning."  
  
"No Su. She didn't bother me at all," Scarlett said taking a bite of her eggs. "So Will,"she continued, trying to divert the conversation. "Have you given any thought to my proposition?"  
  
Will set his cup of coffee down on the table and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Yes I did Scarlett. Suellen and I discussed it last night and we both think that it's in the best interest of everyone if Tara is fixed up."  
  
Scarlett clapped her hands together. "Oh Will! I am so glad. And of course you just let me know what you need and I will get it for you. Why, we can bring in the lumber from my mill! Oh this will be just perfect!"  
  
The rest of breakfast went on with Scarlett and Careen talking about Tara and Will putting in his ideas about how to best go about starting. Suellen was silent and finally got up and started to clear the table.  
  
"Suellen, sit down and join us. You have some say in this too," Will said.  
  
"Well the table isn't going to clean itself now is it!" she snapped. "Some of us don't have servents at our beck and call. Some of us actually have to do work for ourselves and not pay others to do it for us!" Her face was red with anger and as she leaned down to pick up a spoon she had dropped, she suddenly grabbed her stomach and reached for the side of the table.  
  
"Suellen," Will cried, rushing to her side.  
  
"Will...the baby! Someone...get...doctor!" Suellen said before falling to the ground.  
  
Careen ran to her sister, and helped Will get her to the sofa. But, Scarlett sat glued to her seat, unable to move. She remembered when she had miscarried her and Rhett's child and the pain she had been in. As much as she disliked Suellen, she certainly didn't wish that on her. Losing a child of any age was terrible, even one still in the womb.  
  
The doctor came, but it was too late. Suelln lost the child that was to have been born in only three more months. The doctor said that it had been a boy. Suellen would be needing her rest to recover from this and was instructed to stay in bed. Lutie kept the children in the nursery away from disturbing their mother and Will stayed by her side. When Will needed rest or a break, Careen was there. Scarlett did what she could...bringing them tea or soup. But, mostly she kept busy at her fathers desk, writing down ideas and working on plans to fix Tara when Suellen was back up on her feet. She had tried to tell her sister how sorry she was about her loss, but Suellen pretended not to hear her. And so, Scarlett kept mostly to herself for the next few weeks except for dinners with Careen and the girls. Will ate his dinner upstairs with Suellen. She was happy most days for the solitude, but some days she got so lonely for Rhett and Bonnie.  
  
Soon, the time came when Suellen was allowed to get out of bed. She spent lots of her time on the veranda, sitting and watching her children play or reading to them. One warm afternoon Scarlett brought out some lemonade to her. She sat next to her and watched as Will burned the pile of dry vines that were pulled of the side of the house. It was the first step in re- constructing Tara. A new window had been ordered and was on the way to replace the broken one. Scarlett had also wired her mill for lumber to be delivered and it would be arriving some time next week. She looked over at her sister, who was still pale.  
  
"He's a good man, Suellen," she said.  
  
"I know he is. I am lucky to have him."  
  
"Su. If I didn't say it before, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how terrible it is to lose a child at any stage."  
  
Suellen smiled gratefully at Scarlett. "I know you are. I never thought you were capable of feeling anything , but losing Bonnie must have been terrible for you. Especially after losing your unborn baby. I...I wish I could have been there for you like you have been for me these past weeks. Thank you so much."  
  
"You're welcome, Su. Family is family no matter what has happened in the past."  
  
Scarlett stood then and pored another glass of lemonade. "I'll just take this out to Will. He looks like he could use it."  
  
Suellen nodded. She knew that Scarlett wanted to end the conversation there while it was still civil....before they said something to ruin the closness they had just shared. She knew they would never have a strong bond no matter what.  
  
Scarlett was thinking much the same thing as she approached Will. She handed him the cool drink which he gulped down.  
  
"Thankya Scarlett," he said, handing the empty glass back to her. "It's slowly but surely comin'along. Paintin'will be the biggest job."  
  
"Well, I can hire some extra help when the time comes. And if I can be any help at all...I could paint the shutters or anything."  
  
Will laughed at the thought. "Scarlett O'Hara Butler paintin'and gettin'her hands dirty? I can't imagine!"  
  
"Will Benteen!" she retorted. "You forget that after the war I picked cotton until my hands were bleeding. I was the one who kept things going here. If it weren't for me we would have all starved to death! And Tara is special to me and I want to help out with more then just financially."  
  
"Scarlett, I didn't mean anything by that. Forgive me?" Will took her hand.  
  
"Oh I know you weren't trying to be mean. Don't worry about it."  
  
"If ya ant to help, then ya will. I'll get the shutters off and sanded ready to paint."  
  
"I'll be waiting. Maybe Suellen will be feeling good enough to help out by then. I've sent word for Mammy to come to Tara to help out. That way Suellen won't have so much to do. At least that way we can have a half decent meal. Lutie is not the best cook. Speaking of which, I'll call for you when supper is ready."  
  
Mammy did arrive a few days later. It had worked out perfectly as Will had had to ride into Jonesboro to get supplies anyway. Scarlett ran out to meet the buggy waving her hands and calling. "Mammy!! Oh Mammy! I'm so glad you're here!" She threw her arms around her as soon as Mammy got down from her seat.  
  
"It's good to be home, chile. Yo Pa would sooner die den see Tara in dis way," she whispered.  
  
Scarlett nodded, linking her arm in Mammy's and leading her towards. "But, the good news is that Will has finally decided to take my help and we are starting to fix it up. It looks much better then it did when I arrived." Scarlett paused before asking the question that she was waiting to hear the answer too. "Have you seen or heard anything from Rhett?"  
  
"I sorry Miz Scarlett. He came and tooks his tings and left agin. I done tol him to come to ya but he weren't listenin'"  
  
So he knew she was here. She had hoped that he hadn't come to get her because he didn't know where she was. "That's alright, Mammy. Things will work out. They always do. So, you don't worry about a thing. Rhett always comes back, doesn't he?"  
  
Mammy looked skeptical but decided to bite her tongue. Let Miss Scarlett have some hope. But as far as she was concerned, Rhett was done with his marriage. She made her way to the kitchen despite Scarlett telling her it wasn't necessary and she could rest tomorrow. She felt more at home when she was keeping busy.  
  
Scarlett cried that night. For the first time in a long time, she cried. She had been holding on to any strand of hope since she had come to Tara and knowing that Rhett knew where she was and didn't come filled her with sorrow. Was it truly over for them? Was it time for her to forget her husband? It was with these thoughts that she cried herself to sleep. 


	5. Return to Charleston

Rhett didn't know why Charleston was calling to him that day when he left Scarlett at the door of their Atlanta home. He had always hated Charleston and everything that it stood for. He had never been accepted there...people just didn't understand his type which was one of the reasons he had loved Scarlett. He had once told her that they were both alike..."selfish to the end". She understood him and he understood her. Never had two people been so alike. Perhaps that is what caused their marriage to crumble. Neither of them had been willing to give an inch. Marriage is hard enough, but having both parties unable to tell the other how they really felt was sheer stupidity. They were so worried about the other finding out what was in their hearts that they pushed eachother further away.  
  
But he had seen something different in her that day he left. Something he had never seen before. He had seen fear in her eyes. And mixed in with that fear was the love for him that she had never been able to admit to herself or to him. How many times had he cursed himself for still leaving after her admission. He should have taken her upstairs and made love to her for days. But he had been stubborn and not looked back even as he heard her sobbing.  
  
When he had shown up on his mothers door, she'd been happy, but surprised to see him. She knew right away that something was wrong. He hadn't shaved and his clothes were rumpled. Never before had she seen him in such a state. Her son always prided himself on his appearance. She'd begged him to tell her what was wrong, but he refused to say anything. Instead, he locked himself in his room for days, drunk on the whiskey he had the servents leave outside the door. Until one day, when no bottle appeared and his mother knocked on the door and demanded he let her in. When he unlocked the door she marched in and threw open the curtain and opened the window. Rhett winced when the light hit his eyes. And he winced further when his mother began to scold him like a schoolboy. It was then that the story of what happened between him and Scarlett came pouring out. He was relieved, if not a bit surprised, that he had told her. But, now that he had, he was glad. She had made him bathe and shave and told him she expected him downstairs for dinner in one hour and had never spoke of it again. Rhett had never let anyone take over his life for him before. But, just the fact that Eleanor Butler did just that, made him love all the more.  
  
That had been two months ago. And now as he sat on the veranda, as he did every night, enjoying a good cigar and watching the harbour lights, his thoughts turned to Scarlett. Many a night was spent deep in thought out under the stars. And many of those thoughts were about her. He had heard through a letter from Mammy that she had gone back to Tara. He was glad that she was at the home she loved. He hoped she was at peace and happy. He wondered when and if he would see her next. The Season was starting soon and knew it would be hard for Scarlett to stay awayfrom all the parties. No matter what she was always ready to dance, something that he hadn't done with her often enough. But, then again, that might be wishful thinking. Why would she come to Charleston anyway. Atlanta would be more likely. He didn't know how he would react if they were ever face to face again. But, he presumed they would be one day. He recalled a day about two weeks after he'd arrived back home. He'd made up his mind to go to Tara and get her...tell her that he loved her too. When he had reached Clayton County, he's stopped to water his horse and ask for directions. And then he'd seen her. From across the street he watched her and who he decided must be Will Benteen, come out of a store carrying paint. Her hair had been down and she'd had on a pretty green dress. And as she twirled the lacey parasol over her head she'd been laughing....something he hadn't seen her do since before Bonnie. He had wanted to call out to her, tried to call out to her, but all that came out of his mouth was a whisper. "Scarlett." And so all he could do was watch the old wagon make its way down the dusty road and out of sight. He'd nearly killed his horse that day, riding as fast as he could, putting as much distance between him and Scarlett as possible. He never told anyone where he had been that day. Only that he had been visiting some old friends. He had then spent a sleepless night tossing and turning. He finally got up at dawn and vowed to never break down like that again.  
  
He dropped his cigar on the ground then, covering it with his foot to make sure it was out. Tomorrow was a special day. His younger sister, Rosemary was coming back home after visiting some relatives in Savannah. It had been many years since he had been her last. But despite the large age difference they were very close sharing many of the same traits, in looks and in character. He would be meeting her at the train station the following morning. He was grateful for her return home...more grateful then anyone would ever know. Having Rosemary around would help him take his thoughts away from his wife. 


	6. Conclusion of Part 3

The morning came and with it came the slight drizzle of rain. Rhett stood on the platform at the train station, umbrella overhead, waiting for Rosemary to arrive. At the first sound of the train's whistle and first puff of steam in the distance, Rhett moved closer to where the travellers would be exiting the train. When the train finally screeched to a halt, the first person off was a grinning Rosemary who flung herself into his arms.  
  
"Rhett! No one told me that you were home! What a wonderful surprise to have my long lost big brother here to greet me," she laughed, stepping back to look at him. "And as handsome as ever!"  
  
Rhett tipped back his head and laughed. "You flatter me," he said with a wink. "You haven't changed one bit." He reached out and wiped a raindrop from the tip of her nose. "I've missed you. I should have come to visit more often."  
  
"I've missed you too, Rhett. And I should have come to visit you. Why, I still haven't met your wife. Did Scarlett accompany you on your trip?" she asked.  
  
"No, it's just me," he said, taking her hand and wrapping it securely around his arm. "Scarlett doesn't like to leave her mill for long," he lied. "She thinks it will go under if she isn't around to keep an eye on it."  
  
"That's too bad," Rosemary said with disappointment in her voice. "I so want to meet her. I admire a lady with a head for business. But, I suppose you will have to do for now," she teased. "Perhaps she will miss you and decide to join you anyway."  
  
"I suppose that is possible," Rhett replied. "One can never tell what that woman will do next once she gets an idea in her head. But, enough about Scarlett," he said, eager to change the subject. "Tell me all about your trip to Savanna."  
  
"Oh Savannah was as good as ever I suppose. Aunty was constantly begging me to settle down and get a husband. On and on each night at dinner about how gentlemen dislike a lady who thinks for herself and wants to be liberated. And of course *her* Jane is the portrait of the perfect lady and I should be striving to be just like her. 'Just do as she does and you will have a husband in no time.'" she mimicked with a laugh. "But really it was a wonderful trip. I met some great people, Rhett. Can you believe that they actually think that women will be able to vote one day soon?"  
  
"Well I believe that with you on their side anything is possible, my dear sister," he said, holding out a hand to help her into the buggy. She ignored the hand and pulled herself up and he couldn't help but laugh to himself thinking of how much Scarlett would like his little sister. "But, I'd be careful talking that way in front of our mother. She will ship you off to the convent or worse yet back to Savannah to let Aunty find you a husband."  
  
"Oh! Mother can be so old fashioned. And I don't want a husband. The idea that a woman is defined by the man she marries is so outdated. How is mother, by the way. I have missed her terribly despite her over protective ways."  
  
"She is beside herself waiting for you to come home. She has missed you too."  
  
"How long have you been home, Rhett?"  
  
"Two months," he said, without thinking. And then he cursed his stupidity when he could see Rosemary's head turn and look at him.  
  
"Two months?? Why Rhett, have you left your wife alone for that long?"  
  
"It's a long story, Rosemary. One I will tell you when the time is right and when we have more time. Don't worry your head about me or Scarlett. We have a relationship that peole seldome understand, ourselves included." He changed the subject with a point towards their house that was just coming into view. "Look. Mother is on the veranda waiting for you."  
  
Rosemary stood up in the buggy and started to wave. "Mother! I'm home!" Rhett grabbed onto his sisters arm to prevent her from falling all the time laughing. Eleanor started to come down the walk to meet them at the gate. Rosemary jumped out hardly a moment before Rhett pulled the horse to a halt. She hugged her mother who could barely contain the tears falling down her cheeks. Rhett walked over to them and linked an arm with each of his ladies.  
  
"Ok you too. No crying in the street. Let's get our girl in the house, mother," he said. He walked them to the door and went back to get the bag Rosemary had carried on the train. He could hear them talking gleefully as he walked into the house. And it made him happy....happy that he had come home after being gone for so long. And he wanted to stay longer. But, he knew that it wasn't fair to either himself or Scarlett to leave their marriage in limbo like this. He would have to come to a decision soon as to what he was going to do with his life. 


	7. More of Part 3

Life with Rosemary around was interesting to say the least. She was smart as a whip and was constantly keeping Rhett on his toes. Eleanor was eagerly antisipating 'The Season' and was arguing with her daughter about getting fitted for some new ball gowns.  
  
"Oh mother! Can't I just wear one of the dresses I already have?" she argued, as the trio sat out on the veranda. "I don't want some woman poking at me and telling me to suck in my tummy. Besides, I hate going to parties anyway. What a silly thing it is to flaunt yourself just to catch a husband. And to smile sweetly to your friends only to have them gossip about you the very next day."  
  
Rhett laughed loudly. "My sister has a point," he said, lighting his evening cigar. "And I agree with her whole heartedly."  
  
"Oh Rhett, don't encourage her. I will make you a compromise, Rosemary darling. Two new gowns and I won't make you attend the Brady girls coming out party."  
  
"Deal!" Rosemary exclaimed, holding out a hand to her mother, who took it but all the while shaking her head.  
  
"Sometimes I think I must have had three sons," she said.  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment, mother," Rosemary said. That brought forth another laugh from her brother.  
  
"Mother dear, you may as well give up on this one. She has a mind of her own and it seems it is set. Speaking of sons, how is Ross and Margaret?"  
  
"They are wonderful. I received a letter just yesterday from New Orleans. They are having a wonderful time. It's really too bad that you don't get along with your brother. I would love to have all my children together."  
  
Rhett stood and walked behind his mother where he stood and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Mother, when Ross comes home from his travels, you invite him and Margaret to dinner. I promice to be civil."  
  
"Oh Rhett," Eleanor reached for his hand. "You are a good son."  
  
"Oh Mother, I'm not that good. I just love you."  
  
"And I love you, too son. And you, Rosemary. It's so wonderful to have you both home but I can't help but think that you have some unfinished business to attend to, Rhett. It isn't fair to you or Scarlett to keep yourselves in this oblivion."  
  
"You're right, mother. But, I'm a coward. I just want the rest of the world to keep going on without me having to make a decision. Scarlett seems to have accepted my decision and moved on or she would have come looking for me by now. And now with The Season fast approaching we will surely come face to face and I have no idea what to say to her."  
  
"You should tell her what's in your heart, Rhett," Rosemary said softly.  
  
"Well there, my dear, lies the whole problem. I don't know what is in my heart."  
  
"Maybe you are confusing what you think you should do and what you want to do."  
  
Rhett thought about what Rosemary said for a moment and began to nod. "That may very well be true. Maybe this isn't a decision I should be making alone then...since I am not the only one whose life it will affect. You are a smart woman, sister. One day you will make someone a wonderful wife." His eyes twinkled even in the dark as he knew what her reaction would be.  
  
"Oh poof! Who needs a husband when all it seems to give you is grief!" Rhett really laughed this time and Eleanor tried to hush them.  
  
"Rosemary, I haven't laughed this much in ages. You are good for my health and my soul. And you've helped me decide what I need to do." 


End file.
